A Message from Our Founder, Mary Matthiesen

We hold the power

As much as I may have hoped it wasn’t so, nothing was going to prevent my mother’s dying. Nothing will prevent mine or yours. Yet how we die in the realities of 21st century medicine is something most of us will have the opportunity to participate in for ourselves and those we love.

Most of us don’t know this until it’s too late. We don’t know what’s possible, or how we can and must honor the ending of a life in new ways if we want to do this differently. I believe it’s time we learned-and that we are ready.

What happened for my mother and for my family, is happening, is possible, and actually is what is wanted by many of us: without physician assisted suicide, without pulling tubes in anguish or battle, without causing distress to our personal, professional, and cultural souls. Two million Americans die each year, 90% of us in a hospital, nursing home, or institution. This is not what most of us want.

Of course, families and healthcare staff would rather avoid these conversations. Yet, the financial, social, spiritual, and emotional realities of not facing our personal responsibilities to participate in our end-of-life options and care could paralyze not only our families, but our medical and social systems globally within the next 10 years. Yet the resources exist to do it differently-if we choose them. Very positive, life-affirming options are available for individuals, healthcare staff, and systems. We must learn and talk about our wishes in advance if we are to engage the support that’s needed to ensure they are carried out together, when the time comes.

We hold the power to choose our care when we are informed and know how. Healthcare professionals have the immense power to ensure patients and families know about and have options to support a compassionate and complete ending that honors the life of the human being before them. Culturally, we are living in a time that requires us all to participate if we want things to change.

I believe it is time our public and professional conversation around end-of-life care moves beyond avoiding what is feared, to talking about creating and ensuring what is possible. I invite you to join with me and countless others in adding your voice to our petition, sharing your story, and learning more about how you can make a difference for your family and community by participating in our programs and developing web-campaign.

In honor of all of our stories of living and dying…

May we each hold the courage to choose what is possible for our quality of life care, and may we support those who will meet us with the courage to care.